


no pizza, yet.

by Nyodrite



Series: Ideas [12]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, I Don't Even Know, Transcribed, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, fake podcast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 10:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17660660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyodrite/pseuds/Nyodrite
Summary: Ren:The year is 292 A.C. or after-Caelum, as it is known throughout the world of Veridin. The world is comprised of six continents and seven seas, along with a smattering of several major islands and a multitude of countries.[a pause as someone makes a squealing noise and Nick chants “oh my god” under his breath]Our story begins in the western parts of the world, beyond the westernmost continent Alvantir and within the White Coral Sea, where a sizable passenger ship, Kekasmai, is swiftly approaching Enerti - a town on the north-eastern side of the island Viitan.Loud, booming church-bells ring out as Kekasmai pulls into port in the mid-morning hours of the day, and a cloaked figure wakes- Nilo, if you would like to introduce your character?





	no pizza, yet.

**Author's Note:**

> so you know how i've started playing d&d and it's kind of taken over my brain? yeah, so I made other characters besides the one I am playing for the campaign (and the backup). and one, insomnia-filled night, I decided to have all my characters play a d&d game. as themselves.
> 
> kinda. they have "real" names but the characters that they play as are the characters I'd made. so they play as themselves in a way.
> 
> i wrote this as a kind of transcribed podcast. because a) it's easier then writing it as a story _story_. b) it's fun to include the "players" reactions to things. and c) i have been influenced by the fact i've recently started listening to The Adventure Zone podcast
> 
> Anyway. _This is what happens when I have to amuse myself._

**Voice 1:** Hello! And welcome to our D&D podcast - we haven’t decided on a name yet but, even so, we’re glad that you could waste an hour or two listening to us. My name is Ren, she/her pronouns and I’m the DM of this campaign.

**Voice 2:** Hel _lo internet!_ I am Phil, he/him pronouns and-

**Voice 3:** And it’s _my_ turn now, Coulson. I’m Nilo, also he/him pronouns.

**Phil:** Marvel, really?

**Nilo:** I have no idea what you mean…. Agent.

**Voice 4:** Will you two idiots shut up and let us continue?

**Phil:**...go ahead Hela.

**Nilo:** Yeah, as the Queen commands.

**Voice 4:** _[scoffing]_ Idiots. My name is Helena, not Hela. I use she/her pronouns.

**Phil:** Aww, but it suits you so well!

**Voice 5:** She’s going to punch you, you know. I’m Andrea, sometimes called-

**Nilo:** If I die at the hands of my queen then I will die happy, Andy.

**Andrea:** -that. I prefer she/her pronouns but sometimes they/them.

**Voice 6:** _[a scuffle sounds and the voice shouts a bit to be heard over it]_ Hey, people, I’m Nick! He/him for me!

**Voice 7:** And I’m Alex, they/them pronouns. I am the oldest and one nominally in charge of them all so let me just- _[sharply, over the noise]_ All of you stop it **_now_**. _[sudden silence]_ Introductions are done. Ren?

**Ren:** _[coughing]_ R-right. Let’s, uhhh, let’s begin then.

**_\----cut----_ **

**Ren:** The year is 292 A.C. or after-Caelum, as it is known throughout the world of Veridin. The world is comprised of six continents and seven seas, along with a smattering of several major islands and a multitude of countries.

_[a pause as someone makes a squealing noise and Nick chants “oh my god” under his breath]_

Our story begins in the western parts of the world, beyond the westernmost continent Alvantir and within the White Coral Sea, where a sizable passenger ship, Kekasmai, is swiftly approaching Enerti - a town on the north-eastern side of the island Viitan.

Loud, booming church-bells ring out as Kekasmai pulls into port in the mid-morning hours of the day, and a cloaked figure wakes- Nilo, if you would like to introduce your character?

**Nilo:** Oh, fuck, we’re introducing our _own_ characters?

**Phil:** Hell yeah, step up and _wow_ us, Mr. Wizard.

**Nilo:** Right. Okay. Um, okay. So I’m playing tiefling guy, his skin is a light blue color and his eyes are an eerie, solid, silver-white. His ears, while not as prominent as an elf’s, are pointed with two ring-like earrings at the tip on each side, silver and gold. He has long, dark blue hair that is currently in a messy braid and a pair of dark grey-almost black horns that curl backwards then spiral out to the sides of his head.

**Phil:** The tail! Tell us about the tail!

**Andrea:** Hush you. _[a smack sounds before Phil says “ow”]_ Nilo, go on.

**Nilo:** Thanks. Okay, so his horns have several things hanging from them; the right has a small, copper bell - kind of like those Christmas bells that hang off of everything in December? - that hangs from the tip of the right horn by a silver wire. Even spaced, going higher up that same horn, are thin metal rings that each have a small piece of glass dangling from it, there are twelve in total and five are just empty glass but the others all contain a single rose petal - some red, some yellow and two that are white. On the left horn two small, shiny, black pebbles hang from the tip - small bits of sand and metal clinging to their otherwise smooth surfaces - and beyond that the horn is lined by small, glass vials dangling from metallic-grey bead chains and clink together like wind-chimes with every movement he makes. There are a total of eleven vials and each on if packed full of thick, leafy herb-like substances.

**Helena:** Did you…. did you really fucking have your wizard _hang his spell components from his_ **_horns_** _?_

**Nilo:** Yes, yes I did.

**Author's Note:**

> there _is_ more of this - this is only a snippet of the 'campaign' (i put the quotes around it but. like. i've actually kinda of planned it out and the rolls are all real with each player having their own character sheet. so, it's a "Real" campaign but the players are "fake"?? idk) that i'm posting to see if anyone here would be interested to read it.
> 
> if no one is interested, that's fine, I'll just go on amusing myself when I can't sleep or otherwise have nothing to do. if people are interested, cool, maybe some of you can come in as a guest player or make up npcs or give ideas of places/story hooks/encounters for me to use?
> 
> either way. i'mma have fun with this


End file.
